Jun 17
wimbleArts definition, shpadoinkle
Dear Wimble,
What does Shpadoinkle really mean?
whiskers
Dear whiskers,
AH SHPADOINKLE!!! What kind of question is that? It’s a difficult one, that’s for sure. However, nothing is too difficult for the Great Wimble.
As many of you may know, the word “shpadoinkle” comes from the movie “Cannibal: The Musical” written by the makers of South Park and others. Now, on to what “shpadoinkle” means.
In the movie, “shpadoinkle” is used many, many times. It is used in many different circumstances. Let’s go over some examples of it’s usage.
“Shpadoinkle”:
- is used to describe a wonderful day (sunshine/blue sky)
- can be lost
- is good
- is bad
- etc.
So, what does “shpadoinkle” REALLY mean? That’s quite simple. It means that EVERYTHING is shpadoinkle and shpadoinkle is EVERYTHING! Shpadoinkle is love; shpadoinkle is hate; shpadoinkle is light; shpadoinkle is dark; shpadoinkle is you; shpadoinkle is me; shpadoinkle is … You think of it, it’s shpadoinkle.
Well, hopefully that answers your question. Have a shpadoinkle day!!
Wimble
P.S. Don’t lose your shpadoinkle, or something shpadoinkle may happen to shpadoinkle.
Jun 16
wimbleRecreation, Shopping
Dear Wimble
I notice that this site is missing one of the most important questions. Sure, Wimble not being able to control his lust for Mr. Monkey is a question that has long plagued mankind, but I have a more important one. What is the hierarchy of the JuJuBe flavors?
Jeb
Dear Jeb:
Thank you so much for asking one of the most important questions in the WORLD!!! I’ll let you ponder what has plagued mankind however. I’m only here to answer questions, not to ponder on these questions. But, the hierarchy of the JuJuBe flavors is a very important hierarchy for people to understand. The Great Wimble is here to make this easier to understand.
For starters, some of you may not know what a JuJuBe is. Well, a JuJuBe is a candy that is similar to Dots. They are a gummy like thing that taste EXTREMELY good. They’re like heaven. No, they’re like this:
JuJuBe’s are like royalty. The reds and the oranges are the best. They are like the Kings and Queens of ALL JuJuBe’s. The yellows and greens are like the peasants. Maybe, someday, they will all get together and have a JuJuBe Revolution!!
Now, if you still don’t understand I’ll lay it out like this:
Hope that makes more sense. Now, take that hierarchy to heart, and you will understand many of life’s unknowns.
Wimble
Jun 14
wimbleReference fly, pigs
Dear Wimble,
Ok.here is one where did the saying when pig’s fly come from?
jaric
Dear jaric,
Well, jaric, let me start of by saying that I’m not sure what an “ig” is. For all I know, they do fly. But, being the Great Wimble, I realize that occasionally during the electronic transmission of data, there can be errors. Thanks to my Coding Theory course in college I am able to understand this. So, obviously there was originally a “p” with the “ig” that seems to have been dropped during transmission. Of course, there’s a greater chance it was a typo.
Now, the phrase “when pigs fly” has a long history. I won’t go into detail with that though. Many years ago, some person happened to say this phrase, and word spread and it became very popular. Now, there is no way to tell why this person chose to say these exact words. But I’ll give it a go.
One day, a person (we’ll call John Doe), was asked to do something extremely impossible. Well, John Doe contemplated the task they were given. Being the sarcastic and spontaneous person that John is, John didn’t really think before they said what they said. Many people are like this. I can name a few myself, but I won’t go there either. So, obviously, the first thing that came to John’s head was “when pigs fly”. Why? Simply because John knew that pigs can’t fly and will never be able to. So, John was simply informing this person that the task John was given was an impossible task.
So, that’s how the phrase “when pigs fly” came to be so well known today. Hope I was able to help.
Wimble
Jun 12
wimbleSociety moon
Dear Wimble,
Do You Think It Will Be Possible To Ever Live On The Moon? If So When?
Four Rooms
Dear Four Rooms,
Ah, yes, the famous “moon” question. I have pondered this question many times. After years of doing this, I’ve finally determined whether it would be possible, or not.
Let me get my answer out of the way. Do I think it’s possible to ever live on the moon? To put it simply, yes. In fact, we could do it right now if we really wanted to. Why don’t we? Because it’d be really expensive and we all know how money controls the world. Now, I’m not talking a few billion dollars, I’m seeing more than the national debt (not just for one person). But let’s not go there.
Now that I got that out of the way, let’s think of how life would be on the moon. You would have to live in a little bubble for a house. (Not necessarily shaped that way). You would never be able to open the windows, because you would lose all of your air (which would have to be stored in tanks in your house, and you would have to pay a fortune to have air shipped from Earth to the Moon). You would have to walk to the store in a big suit since there’s no air to breathe. Oh, and a tether would be a good idea too, just in case you happened to jump too high and start floating off into space.
Now that’s just a little of how life would be like on the moon. For me, I would never want to live that way. Never being able to see the trees and flowers and blue sky out of my window. Instead, it would be just gray dirt and black sky, 24/7/365 (or whatever the day cycle would be on the moon).
So, in the end, yes I do think it’s possible to live on the moon. When, right now if you’re felt the urge and could afford it. But for me, I’ll be keeping my feet on Earth for quite some time, at least until they get some sort of atmosphere up there.
Thanks for your question, and hope to hear from you again.
Wimble
Jun 11
wimbleBusiness job, money, work
Dear Wimble
How can I make money this summer??? And “get a job” isn’t a valid response.
J.Q. Monkey
Dear J.Q. Monkey:
This is one question that I’m sure millions of people would like to have an answer for. It’s not an easy question to answer. However, the Great Wimble is here for that.
In order to answer this question, we must first determine what you mean by a “job”. It’s difficult to determine what is a job, and what isn’t a job. To make the decision easier, I’m going to define “job” as something that involves work. That eliminates quite a few possibilities. Selling drugs involves work. You could sell yourself on the streets, but yet that involves work too. You could start your own Internet business, but that involves work as well. Hmm, I’m almost out of ideas here.
OH WAIT!!! I’ve got one more!
There is only one real way to make money, and not have to get a job. Here’s how it works:
The first thing you do, is get out of bed. Then, you hop in your car, drive to Grandma’s house, and say “Grammy, I love you, do you realize how much I love you? I love you SOOO much, that I decided I’m going to spend the rest of the summer with you.” Then, after she agrees that it’s going to be a great idea, you move in. Then, as time goes by, she begins to realize that it wasn’t the best idea. Why? Because ever since you moved in, you began being as annoying as possible. Then, after a month or so, a week if you’re lucky, she’ll be more than happy to pay you to leave her alone for the rest of the summer.
Obviously you could substitute Grandma for any other rich (or semi-rich) relative that you have.
Hope that works out for ya J.Q. Have a great summer!
Wimble
Jun 10
wimbleSports foot, football, soccer
Dear Wimble,
Why is Football Called football, when soccer should be called football.. becuase you use your foot most of the time.
Michelle
Dear Michelle,
Ah, yes, another one of those great mysteries of all time. It’s a good thing you asked the Great Wimble this question. Nobody else would know the answer.
Lets take a little history lesson. “Football” as we know it today, started centuries ago in a country far, far, away. However, it wasn’t called “Football” and it wasn’t even “Football” as we know it today. Football was discovered by college students who wanted to play a different sport. They would’ve played the other sports, but they were just too boring. Years ago, these college students took a look at the available sports. Rugby and Soccer were the two main sports that influenced their “Football” ideas. So technically, “Football” is a form of Soccer.
Anyway, I’ll skip the rest of the history, since it’s not important. What IS important is how “Football” was played back in the day. The college students decided that they wanted a “rougher” sport that was similar to soccer and rugby. So, they made “Football”. There were no rules, except to get the ball to the goal. So, as a result, there tended to be a lot of kicking. Since you use your foot to kick people, and since there is a ball in the game, they decided to call it football.
Hope I was able to answer your question. Just a suggestion, don’t bother trying to decipher the English language. It’s impossible (except for the Great Wimble). The English language will never get better, and I would only expect it to get more confusing in the future.
Wimble
Jun 09
wimbleHome lava lamp
Dear Wimble,
What is lava made of .. ( the lava lamp.. lava stuff..)???
NOVELLA=)
Dear NOVELLA=),
I’m glad to hear from you again. I honestly never saw this question coming. Unfortunately, the makers of lava lamps have kept this a secret. However, they do allow us to know that it is a type of oil and wax.
I can give you a little more detail however, since I am the Great Wimble, afterall. Lava Lamps can easily be made at home. There are two main ingredients. Two liquids that have very close densities, and that are insoluble in one another. Don’t bother trying vegetable oil and water, because they have completely different densities and would never work.
Now, as you heat up the mixture, the more dense liquid heats up first (cause it’s at the bottom) and expands and becomes less dense, therefore rising to the top where it cools off and sinks again. So, you get that constant motion.
If you’re not real sure how to tell the difference between the densities of each liquid, then use this as a little tip. The more “dense” a person is, the stupider they are, so they “sink” to the bottom of the totem pole. Then, you got the less “dense” people, who are obviously smarter, who are able to rise above the others and clamin the top of the totem pole to themselves.
Hope I was able to help you out. Glad to hear from you again.
Wimble
Jun 08
wimbleRecreation baby oil, corn oil, olive oil, vegetable oil, wheat germ
Dear Wimble,
If Olive Oil comes from Olives, then where does Baby Oil come from?
Joey
Dear Joey,
Well, Joey, this would be a simple answer if only the English language were actually a proper language. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. So, does Baby Oil come from babies, or not? It’s a good thing you asked the Great Wimble.
Let’s look at all the different kinds of oils out there. Off the top of my head, I can think of a few. Vegetable Oil, Olive Oil (wasn’t Popeye in love with her?), and Corn Oil. Obviously there are more, but these are the important ones. So, let’s look at them all again:
Vegetable Oil
Olive Oil
Corn Oil
Baby Oil
Now, how can we organize these oils? Oh, that’s easy. Baby Oil is the only one you don’t cook with. That makes your question even harder, since you’re not really comparing the same types of oils. But I think I can still work around that.
The most common ingredients in Baby Oil are the following: Almond Oil, wheat germ oil, and Vitamin E. Sounds pretty edible to me. Almonds are good, so that should be edible. Wheat Germ.. that’s edible too. Vitamin E… well, it’s a Vitamin, so it must be edible. Therefore, Baby Oil must be edible. I think that calls for a new cooking oil!!! YUMMY!!!
But still, where does one get baby oil from? That’s quite simple. It comes from the same place as Olive Oil, and Vegetable Oil, and Corn Oil… The Store!
Hope I was able to answer your question. Hope to hear from you again.
Wimble
Jun 07
wimbleGames wood, woodchuck
Dear Wimble,
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
InsaneBoi
Dear InsaneBoi,
As you may already know, this is one of the most popular questions in the world. Not only has practically everyone heard the question, but hundreds have spent many hours trying to solve it. You, on the other hand, have spared yourself those many hours by asking the Great Wimble.
Now, the main problem with this question is that there is no timeframe. How can one calculate how much would a woodchuck could chuck if you don’t know how long it is to be chucking this wood? Well, we can take a few approaches. Let’s assume that we wanna know the amount over the lifetime of the woodchuck. The average lifespan of a woodchuck is 8-9 years. We’ll use 8. Now, how often is the woochuck actually chucking at this wood? Well, considering the fact that woodchucks are only ever above ground for an average of 2 hours every day, we’ll use that since they probably aren’t chucking this wood while they are underground. Now, let’s say they can chuck approximately 10 grams (approximately the size of an acorn) every 30 minutes. That gives us a total of 40 grams every day. Since they probably don’t have days off like us humans do, then that’s 7 days a week, which is 280 grams a week. Now, since they probably don’t get vacations from their jobs either, that’s 52 weeks a year. That turns out to be 14,560 grams a year. Lifespan of 8 years will make that a total of 116,480 grams of wood chucked throughout their lifetime. That’s approximately equal to 250 pounds of wood. WOW!!!
Now, if we get back to the question at hand. “How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?” Well, I’d have to say 0 grams. Why, do you ask? Because I know damn well that I’ve never seen a woodchuck throw a piece of wood. Therefore, they can’t chuck wood.. 
Hope I was able to answer your question. Hope to hear from you again.
Wimble
Jun 06
wimbleSociety love
Dear Wimble
How do you know when you’re in love?
Tain
Dear Tain,
Well, Tain, I’m glad to see that someone has actually tried to stump me. Love is a very, very difficult topic to talk about. It’s even more difficult to know when you are actually in love. However, have no fear, for the Great Wimble is here. I spent quite some time pondering this question myself, and I believe I have finally come to a conclusion.
When someone falls in “love” with another person, is it really love? Perhaps it’s merely the urge to be with someone, or simply lust (not that there’s anything wrong with that). That is what makes it so difficult to answer this question, because those feelings can be easily confused, or hard to pinpoint. So, what do I have to tell you?
Well, the most important thing that you can do is to step back and take a look at things outside of your little circle. For example, one may be able to simply go into their bathroom and take a look into their “tain” (for those of you who don’t know, tain is the tinfoil backing of a mirror). When a person does this, they are able to see themselves, and makes it a lot easier to try to view yourself from outside of your little circle. When you carefully inspect yourself, only then can you determine if you are really in “love”. You’ll notice certain things about yourself that are different from when you were not in “love”. You’ll notice very small changes in your life since this “love” has come along. Although everyone experiences different changes, there are some that are more common than others. For example, you may notice that you are late for appointments, or that country living becomes more appealing, and even that things and people around you seem taller (just to name a few). Only then will you know you are truly in “love”.
I hope I was able to answer your question. Please keep in mind that I am not a professional and that this is all meant for entertainment purposes only.. 
. Hope to hear from you again.
Roger and out,
Wimble
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